Over the week, two ppl, one from my past and the other my present, had the same thing to say about me. Of course they both didnt outwardly exclaimed it. I asked for it, the same way u asked for it when someone blurts out "God, who the fuck farted?!" and you deliberately take in longer and deeper breaths to see whether the stench's there or not.

The stench was that I look fatter. Dr Teoh, raised brows and all, had repeatedly warned me that by taking medication I'll grow fatter. Well, I did get fatter. One week right after I took them pills, the stupid weighing scale screamed that I have grown 5 kgs fatter. I acknowledged then that I was fatter, but I'm not gonna accept that I'm STAYING fatter. So I bust my ass out, jogged, do sit ups, dance, anything to make me less fatter. It worked; and I tot that I was thinner than before medication.

The problem is that there's no way I can make my face less fatter. I look fatter, hence I am fatter.

Frankly, I have never seen a face this round before. This has gotta be an unprecedented, 18-yrs-&-3-months peak on my face-roundness index. I bet if I were to be beheaded in the Forbidden Palace now, my head would fly up into the air, drop, roll down the millions of stairs, down the hills, and rolly-polly all the way to South China Sea.

Okay. Life at an international school has all been pretty surreal up til now. I guess I still find it hard to believe my luck. Beginning to like the school more now, esp after today's orientation. I'm taking a course called IBs if u guys didnt know already. Latest is that I've pretty much sentenced myself to a medical career since two of my Higher levels are Bio and Chem. I dunno whether this is the right move; all that sticks to mind is that I've had a Physics test bk at INTI, an open book test (boleh buka buku) and I got 50 sth for it.

That will keep me away from Physics for a while, I think, tho I was kinda looking forward to attending Mr Piech's classes. The whole place is rlly small tho, the whole high school's only a block. As for ppl, well, some of the Angmos are rlly rlly hot, like they just walked out, fresh n primped, from an MTV lidat. Earlier today at orientation, I had to tear my eyes away from one girl's half exposed boobs. And to think these ppl are all younger than me and yet it is me who feel like the misplaced lamb.

Saddest thing this week would have to be the change of schedule, and that's more becoz they switched my bio class. Sigh. Nice spitting with you, Cindy, was fun while it lasted. And, oh, I am the target of mocking for Mr Venables, my English teacher, even tho I feel deep inside, he's a nice guy. See, as you guys all know, I have a problem with talking. For English, we've got to sit in circles and talk about a book and just throw our opinions in. Hoho I couldn't do it in Xavier's class, u think I can do it in fronta guailos? Yeah disgustingly, shamefully incompetent, that's how I would describe myself. It came to the point when Mr Venables felt he needed to call my name to ask me questions, all which I could answer correctly, and that's what confuses me about me. Why am I so afraid of talking? Wth is wrong with me?

It was okay, I can bear with a l'il humiliation, but the day came when we students had to start takin turns to lead the seminar. Kyle and the African girl was up 1st, and they did a great job talking. I admire them, they just crapped n crapped n sounded intelligent for around half an hour lidat. Then, as class was dismissed, Mr Venables told them that they did a great job, there was a flow, blah blah, but their only problem was that they weren't able to bring in ppl who talk less like Kelly into the discussion. I felt so bad. I mouthed sorry to African girl, I picked up my bag, and as I was going out, Mr Venables called out an apology to me, which made me feel even worse.

That's prob the biggest letdown of the week. They're all nice ppl, it's me who's all screwed up. Other boo-boo is the food prices man, things here cost a bomb. I had my allowance increased two fold n still there's a need to save. Good food, nevertheless.

So all in all, it feels like living in two worlds now. One world is totally different from what I've known all my life, with the guailos and the Japs and the Koreans and not least, the ppl who keep me in touch with my roots, the small community of Malaysians. It sorta feels like I'm somewhere away from Malaysia in the school, but when I'm takin the KTM bk, I'm talking Malay again.

I'll be tryin out for junior varsity soccer next monday. Hope I dun make a fool outta myself out there. *cross fingers*

Til next time, here's to ur life too. Cheers.